So I posted a short while back about my last suicide attempt, how I ended up on a mountain and all that. I figured it would be nice to post an update, not sure if anyone cares but if it can give 1 person a slight bit of hope then it's worth posting about.
So lockdown hadn't been going well for me at all, with the suicide attempt, heartbreak, alcoholism, extreme flashbacks of being raped as a kid, loss of my pet, diagnosed with bpd/eupd, being blocked by my best friend I have known for many many years. So this had all lead to the suicide attempt, many external and internal factors had gotten to me,
However I have had some ups and downs I can now be proud of the ups and recognize my achievements. I have gotten accepted into college for a diploma in science, which will help me get another course which leads to university in Belfast to study Mental Health Nursing. I am so pleased with myself that I managed to turn everything around. All be it, my life isn't perfect, I'm not 'cured'. I still struggle daily and still experience suicidal thoughts although it's been a while since I have actually had the desire to act on them.
I've started getting into a proper routine, brushing teeth, drinking water, attending driving lessons and getting more hours in my job as a care assistant. I'm also on a waiting list for DBT, (dialectical behaviour therapy) which has great statistics so I'm quite looking forward to that.
I've wrote this impulsively but I wanted to show that there is hope in this life.Yeah it fucking sucks and it's cruel, heartbreak, grief, war, famine, greed, violence, maybe I should stop talking but there is beauty in it. Being happy and competent and having a sense of meaning and purpose. That's what matters.
(Realise this is all over the place)
Who Am I?
I’m a 20 year old male that suffers from various mental illnesses.