Eventful Night

I was ready to run to the traintracks or the bridge, I was outside my garden last night with a cigarette, debating how I will kill myself. I decided it would be too noticeable to run in the night so I went back  inside feeling ashamed and let down by myself. I saw my two sharp blades and remembered how sharp they were, I thought of slicing my wrists open and thats what I did,  I remember seeing these dark blue purple ish lines just beneath the yellow bubbly fat pouring out. There was very little blood, I realised I missed veins and ateries and I wasn't bleeding quick enough, I went to my parents and they took me to hospital. I had felt a little better but now I feel so numb again and I want to do it more and more. It was the deepest I had gone, requiring 16 stiches.

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