All Hope is Lost

So today I went to college, they took me in a room and filled my head with lies. I was told I'm not clinically well enough to be here and that I should come back next year. This course was the only thing giving me hope. "Some day I'll be a paramedic through the college course and help others" I said that every morning to keep myself living, to give myself hope. I'm gonna refuse meds and treatment now, I'm gonna stockpile all my medicine under my tongue and hide it for a mega overdose,. My biggest one yet. I have nothing to live for! All I dreamed is now gone.