It Gets Worse

Remeber I said I couldn't feel any worse in one of my blog posts? I was so wrong,  it gets far worse. Two people I know attempted suicide, one is back into the psychiatric hospital. The one that kissed my ex in front of me. My girlfriend dumped me today, I am doing awful in my exams and now it's just falling apart. I have nothing or nobody to live for. I don't even feel my family loves me anymore. I feel alone and useless and worthless and stupid. I  get those recurrant thoughts everyday, now I've got flashbacks creeping up on me again now too. I am so sick and tired of living this way. I don't think I can finish this week alive. I'm going to wait and see what happens next. The doctors mentionoed going back to the psychiatric hospital nearby. It's an hour away from home. I don't want to go but it helped last time for a short time then I was back into feeling suicidal and awful about myself again. I can't keep doing this honestly. I have nothing.