Depression Will Fade
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  • Home
  • My Blog
  • Getting Support
    • Feeling Suicidal >
      • Suicidal Thoughts
      • Immediate Support
    • Anxiety >
      • What is Anxiety?
      • Dealing with Panic Attacks
      • Distract Your Worries
    • Self Harm >
      • What is Self Harm?
      • First Aid & Infections
      • Alternatives to Self Harm
    • Depression >
      • What Is Depression
      • Who Can I Talk To?
      • Treatment for Depression
    • BPD
  • Other
    • Comforting Music
    • Helpful Sites & Apps
    • Depression Quotes
    • Running Ads
    • Disclaimer and Legal Info
  • Contact
    • Contact Me

I'm sick of feeling this way

9/3/2017

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This post contains content which may be triggering to some readers.

I've got overnight pass from hospital so I can go home and do things. I'm so tempted to go to the train tracks and end it all for good. I don't know why I'm still fucking here. I want to die and finish it!! I want to hang myself from the pole above the train tracks. Just jump the several feet and snap my neck. Oh how I'd love to do that I really want to. Or just slice my arms open with some broken glass. I want to get stitches and scars. I want to fuck my body up like the disgusting body I have. I deserve pain and death. I'd love to bleed out with blood everywhere. I want to see the fat fall out of me. Hands and arms trembling. I want to die of the shock. It would be so fucking painful but it's better than dealing with flashbacks and critical thoughts and constant emptiness that consumes me like a walking corpse. Who the fuck spends their teenage years in a psychiatric hospital?! I don't want this. I want death and pain. Recovery isn't for everyone. Depression kills.
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    Who Am I?

    I’m a 19 year old male that suffers from various mental illnesses.
    ​I created this blog to help me get things off my chest and to help others feel less alone in their battles.

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