I don't want to be here anymore

I honestly give up right now. I have a girlfriend and two friends who want me alive but honestly I don't think I can be here, it'll hurt them but I don't care if I'm dead. It'll be over for good. The way I want it to be. I'm just so fed up of living!

Why do I wanna die so much??

Because life sucks, it's horrible, it's waking up to numbness and sadness and anger. No happiness!
There's just nothing to live for! I hate these flashbacks of being raped when I was 9! I get these flashbacks everyday! I hate the thoughts of being worthless, useless, not good enough! Failure! Mistake! Burden! Asshole! Selfish! These thoughts go through my stupid head every fucking day! I hate it! I hate it so so much! I just want to die! What else is there to do? Fuck my medication and treatments that don't work. I'm sick of hospital too! I'm sick of home! I just want to die!